Love? or Lust?

You're 17 years old, not even considered a legal adult in the eyes of the law, you're considered inadequate to be able to make an effective decision for your benefit. If you're not even considered an adult, can you really even love someone? Do you even know what true love is? My idea of true love is that you'd lay everything on the line just to make someone happy even if that means a life without you. Yet, teenagers everyday are getting together, breaking up, and hooking up; do they know what love is?

I honestly feel the word is thrown around all over the place, that sometimes it loses it's meaning. I love my mom, dad, and sisters, but I also love M&M's. Is it the same kind of love, of course not, or are there different levels in which you love something or someone?
In high school, do you ever really know what true love is? Can you love someone one month and another the next? I truly believe that some high schoolers do and can find love while in high school, but it's extremely rare. I find that most teens are in lust more than in love. You can of course care about someone, but are you really in love? Would you give up everything for that person, better yet would they do the same for you?

The brain doesn't fully develop until the age of 25, for the average person. Girls are more prone to developing and maturing early, while boys take a longer time. So can the average teenage boy really be in love? I'm not to sure myself, I feel that some definitely can be, but a lot of them say that they love the girl they're with because there's nothing else to say. They're almost expected to say it when they're in a relationship.

My view on this? I think it's rather rare to be truly in love in high school, is it possible, yes, but is it likely, no. I think I'm too young to know exactly what love is, I know I've had an attraction to guys and that I've liked them, but I would not say I've ever been in love. I think you don't even have to ask yourself if you're in love or not, you just know when you're with the right person. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think you can only love one person and then you're with them for the rest of your life, I think you can love multiple people, but sometimes it's on a different level of love. You love the guy as a brother, or a friend, but not as your bf. In high school there's so many people that you haven't met. Why is everyone so quick to say 'I love you' when they may not even know what that really means?

xoxo KKSM

Singled Out

All my single ladies, now put your hands up!

What comes to your mind when you hear the word single? To me, it can mean three things.
1) If a guy or girl is single, it means that he/she is indepent, doesnt feel the need to be someone and is taking time to figure out to improve themselves; that way when they are in a relationship they know what they want and can be their best to their partner. 
2) He/she got dumped or ended their relationship with their partner for some reason and is heartbroken and hasnt gotten over it and cant seem to find another.
3) He/she doesnt want a relationship and is hooking up with many people at a time. They dont want to be tied down and they want to be able to make their rounds.

Some people may look at being single unacceptable, and maybe they feel unworthy of someone or feel like there is no one interested.

There are also people that I know that hate being single and because of this they simply date whoever they can get or who is interested and doesnt really have a connection with that person. They basically just want to have the ability to say that they're with someone. This is something that I personally would not do. It's pointless and not beneficial in any way. It's a waste of time! If this is you, think twice. What's more important to you? A title/label/status? or Waiting to find the person you REALLY feel an attraction to? Think about it.

If you're single because you cant move on from your previous relationship, I can imagine that is probably a tough position to be in. But know that it is healthier for you to pick yourself and move on. Look for something better because obviously there was something about your previous relationship that proved itself to not work and be a problem to lead to the break-up, so why would you want to go through that again if you run back to that person?  There is more than one person for you out there. Look for a new beginning! This time you will know what works for you and what doesnt, so now you can have a more successful, happier relationship than before(:

For all of those who are single....being single is NOT bad! Every one of us will got through a time when we're single. Before we find the person we're meant to be with, and especially in between relationships. Trust me, I know when you're single you are going to feel alone at times, and feel like there may be no hope to find someone. You have time! You're not limited to the people in school! Boys/girls everywhere are looking for the same thing as you are, so dont feel alone.

There are so many advantages to being single! No jealousy, curiousity of where he/she is, fears of being cheated on, you can flirt with whoever you want, no "why didnt you call me last night when you said you would?", you can hang with other guys and girls, no mess between you're bestfriend and boyfriend/girlfriend....the list goes on!!!! So girls and guys, if you're single be yourself, be confident and step out in your best swag.

Friday night=Date night

Getting ready for dates, for me at least, is rather stressful. What do you wear? Does your makeup look good? Does your hair look good? Will you have enough to talk about? blah blah blah.... I usually have to get my mind off of it by doing something else, but I always make sure that I'm on time, nothing is worse than being late, or standing someone up.

This post I decided I'm just going to do tips about the "getting ready" process of going on a date and the "during."

1) Make sure you have plenty of TIME. Again nothings worse than being late on a first date. Make sure you shower and you're ready to go.

2) Don't get too analytical about the way you look, being paranoid won't help being on the date. You'll just be self conscious, and it'll show-trust me.

3) Have what you want to wear out ahead of time, so you have time to do our hair and makeup etc..

4) Never ever ever ever ever, EVER stand someone up on a date. It's one of the rudest things you could do, plus the person is probably beyond humiliated. If you don't want to go on a date with someone, just say no. Being honest with someone instead of leaving them on is the best way to go.

5) Offer to pay for the bill, wherever you end up going. It's common courtesy, however if he sticks you with the entire bill, you need a new date.

6) Don't worry about the conversation, if you are too paranoid it'll show and then the conversation will definitely stop.

7) If you see your friends out on the date, but he's not really friends with them, make sure you introduce him, AND don't chat for too long. You shouldn't be there to hang with friends, but you are on a date.

8) One of my personal pet peeves is when girls belch, I think it's disgusting. I heard one girl do it at her lunch table today, that's why I'm bringing it up. Just FYI.

9) Have fun! Even if you think you're not really into the person anymore, just go with it and have fun. If you don't want things to move forward, then they don't have to.

xoxo KKSM

P.S. Any more tips you guys can come up with from personal experience?

My brother = Your boyfriend

He may be your boyfriend, but he was my brother first. If you have any brothers or sisters, you know what I’m talking about. You may fight with them a lot, call each other names, and pull each other’s hair, but admit it. You love your brother/sister. And sometimes, nothing can be harder than sharing them.

I have one sister and one brother, both are older than me and both have a girlfriend/boyfriend. And do I get along with their girlfriend/boyfriend? Of course not. Why, you ask? I’m not sure, and that’s why I chose this topic for today. 

I tell people that my brother’s girlfriend is dumb, and he can do WAY better, and I tell people my sister’s boyfriend is ugly and she can do WAY better. But are those the real reasons? The World may never know. 

Sometimes it’s hard to accept a brother/sister’s “significant other”, even if you may have no legitimate reason as to why. But the most important thing for you to do is to not only be honest, but to support your sibling and be nice. Being mean to their BF/GF will only add tension between you and your siblings…and that’s the last thing we want. 

So what do you guys think? Am I the only one with this “predicament”, or do you all know what I’m talking about? Let me know!

xoxo Meg <3 :*

Green with Envy

Jealousy is a monster that can rip apart a relationship. One of my friends bf's believes it's impossible for girls to have guy friends who are just 'friends.' I think he's ridiculous. His jealousy lead to their break up. Jealousy in a relationship is tiring, it also stems from lack of self confidence. When the person you're seeing has little self esteem it works its way into the relationship and stays there, up until someone can't stay take it anymore.

If your bf/gf is jealous ALL THE TIME, it's probably flattering at first, but then it gets to be just plain annoying. If you're insecure all the time it gets tiring for someone to constantly build your self esteem up all the time. There may be a patience level which everyone has, but for everyone there's always a limit. When it exceeds that limit, it can lead to a nasty fight.

To avoid a fight there's only three options I see. 1) Talk to the person about it. Ensure them you're with them, but that they need to start believing that you're not going to go out and cheat on them. 2) You can ignore it completely, which is going to be difficult. If someone doesn't trust you, which I see as a big base for a relationship to even begin, it's bound to end. 3) Break up, if you're getting annoyed, you'll stay annoyed, therefore just end it now before it gets even nastier.

Jealousy can lead people to do vengeful things, which will only damage the relationship further. A lot of it is trust issues, the person with excessive jealousy doesn't trust you. It can mess with your head, thus making it seem like somethings wrong with you, but it's them not you.

Jealousy can ruin a relationship. Of course there's degrees of jealousy, not all will ruin a relationship, but when your bf/gf needs a constant reminder you're staying with them, it can and will tire everyone out.

xoxo KKSM

Moving up, moving out, moving on...?

It happens all the time in high school, some one's older and some one's younger. While the older is moving on to a whole new chapter of their life, the younger is still in high school. But, where do you two stand regarding your relationship? Do you stay together and see how it goes? Or do you have a mutual break up at the end of the summer?

It's hard seeing someone go, especially when you know you have to let them go in order to move on. If your bf/gf goes to college and you break up it's tough, but you have to try to put everything in perspective. Depending on what school they go to they're bound to meet thousands of new people. It's a whole different part of your life, it'd be difficult to stay together because of that. College is so much more different then high school and many don't realise until they themselves are going to college. So breaking up isn't that could happen when you weigh all of the pros and cons.

Yet it could be confusing when your bf/gf comes back into town. Since it was a mutual break up with no big dramatic fight, feelings are bound to resurface. Don't become a townie booty call, they will go back to school in the end and you will stay here. There's nothing wrong with being friends, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

However, there are some couples that are able to stay together when one goes to college and the other is still in high school. Don't think for a minute things will still be same. It's going to be difficult going from seeing each other practically every day, to seeing each other maybe every weekend at best. When you yourself goes to college, where will you go? Some girls make the mistake of going to the same college, most of the times these relationships end. One word- awkward. You'll always wonder what if you did things differently, what could you have had?

Dealing with this is difficult and puts a lot of pressure on the relationship, but it has to come up in conversation or it'll just be a surprise. Whether it's good or bad is how you two deal with it.

Much love, xoxo
KKSM

"Can you hear me now?" "No, I think we're breaking up!"

Long Distance Relationships:

In high school despite what many think, your still a kid who is subject to their parent's wishes. If they decide they want to move to a new neighborhood, or even states in some cases, you really have no choice but to follow them. Some people are really excited to start new and fresh, others find the tear away from family and friends difficult. Especially when you're a teen in a relationship. If you, or your bf/gf are moving, it's time to decide where the relationship stands.

Standing Apart: If you two decide to go your separate ways, it's understandable in most cases. Whoever is moving, they're guaranteed to meet new people wherever they move. It's be hard if you when you don't see them on a regular basis. People grow apart and feelings change, it's okay, as long as you end it on a good note it's fine for both ends.

Standing Together: If you decide to stay together, all the more power to you, but it's going to take some work. Unless you have an accessible car, and live relatively close by, there's a possibility you will be able to drive to see your bf/gf. Also depending, if their parents are okay with you staying with them. This could work out okay, but it'll be challenging. Don't be naive about that facet.

If they move farther then a drive away, there are always alternatives. Getting together during a break or during the summer is always an option. Plus with the technology cellphones, Facebook, BBM, Skype etc.. you can always be in contact. Whatever you decide, try to be as realistic as possible, make sure there is no excessive train on the relationship due to the move, because if there is then it might be a good idea to break up.

P.S. you can always write letters to one another which is like 100 % more romantic than a stupid text. FYI.

xoxo KKSM

My Bestfriend's Boyfriend

Sometimes it happens, we can't control who we like, and sometimes that person already happens to be with someone---what if that person is with your best friend?

You're caught between following your feelings and betraying your best friend or setting your feelings aside and saving the relationship between you and your best friend. Which one do you choose? Honestly, if you get in between your best friends relationship whether or not you do like the guy, she'll probably hold some resentment towards you.

If you can't put your feelings aside my best advice is to talk to your best friend, AFTER the relationship has ended and both have moved on. If there's still a connection between you and the guy, you can't keep it from her for ever. If she has truly moved on and she is your best friend, she should understand. However, don't be surprised if she compares her past relationship with him and your current relationship. There may still be some left over feelings, and it's probably going to be hurtful to see her ex with her bestie. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel if you had to see your ex with your best friend? It's probably going to be hard, for you and your friend, but remember: 1) Never ruin a friendship over a relationship that may not last through high school. 2) If she truly cares about you she will TRY to understand.

If they don't break up, you're probably going to have to move on. It's the only possibility that won't hurt anyone. Remember that you will meet other people, and he's not the only one you'll have a connection to.

Remember, "sisters before misters", you'll always need your girlfriends when guys do fail you. You need to decide which matters more to you, as long as you can live with your choice, you've made the right decision for you.

xoxo KKSM

I don't know who I like!?!

Some girls find them in the situation of liking, or having feelings, for someone else, while in a current relationship. Sometimes the feelings lead to a breakup, and other times the feelings pass. These types of feelings are difficult to get through. You feel like you are betraying the person you're with, but you still don't get why you're having these feelings.

So, what do you do?

These confusing feelings are difficult to sift through. Meeting someone new and having an instant connection, makes it seem new and exciting. When you've been with someone for a while, it's difficult to remember the spark that brought you two together. Yet, you shouldn't have to continuously remind yourself why you're together. Being with that person should be enough, the spark should always be there. Things have probably settled down between you two, and now this new exciting boy comes into your life, and you just can't seem to settle your feelings.

Remeber this, if you are just bored maybe it is time for something new. People and feelings change, it's not a big deal as long as you don't make it one. You meet new people all the time, some you're going to have a connection to, but are you happy with who you have? Can you see yourself without them?

It is after all high school, this shouldn't be your main concern, but as a teenage girl it's definitely bothersome. If you haven't noticed already, I personally think the likelihood of a long term relationship in high school is unlikely. It's very rare to see high school sweethearts, it's just a fact, the odds of high school relationships working out are unlikely. However, in the current situation it feels like a big deal. If you don't make it a big deal it doesn't have to be one.

So, you break up with your boy friend for this new guy, don't immediately jump into this new relationship. That would be just a slap in the face to your ex, and if you cared you'd have the decency to let him get over you. If the feelings pass, remember you're probably with a great guy who cares about you a lot, you were honestly just bored and was looking for something new and exciting.

Some people forget though, those relationships get old too. You need to be happy and if that means with someone else, that's OK. Just remember, you're what 16 , 17? Date around, meet new people, settle down when you meet someone who stands out from the crowd to you. Don't rush into something and then regret it later, it's just not worth it.

xoxo KKSM

Booty Call

Have you ever been in a "relationship" where it's just hooking up, but you're not labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend? A lot of girls in high school have been in this situation and most find it hard to hear the reality of the situation. Some of these friends with benefits situations, are just "booty calls." Whether you see it like that or not, you deserve better than a guy who will just call you when he wants to hook up.

I wouldn't classify these types of "relationships" as actual relationships. Even though some girls will say "there's no strings attached," it ends up that they wish there was a labeled relationship as bf/gf. Someone usually gets hurt, whether it's the boy or the girl, usually the relationship doesn't end well.

If you or a friend has been or is in this type of relationship, don't sell yourself short, you deserve better. You may think it could turn into a relationship, but chances are it isn't going to. It very well may just be him, he may just want to hook up, but doesn't want a girlfriend. Or it could be you, you might just want to have a fling, but not a steady boyfriend. However, usually neither one of you are on the same page. One might develop feelings and may want something more, one might get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Again either way, the relationship doesn't end well.

If it does turn into a relationship, the base of it always will have started by just hooking up. There was a strong physical attraction, obviously, but what about any emotional connection? Do you even like him for who he is? Does he like you for who you are, and what you stand for?Chances are that relationship won't last long. By hooking up with someone and never speaking to them again, doesn't mean you are actually rid of them forever.

When it does end, you're probably just going to remember him as "the guy I hooked up with," and he'll remember you as "the girl I hooked up with." Wouldn't you want to be remembered as something more? Not just some girl. No one wants to be used, you deserve more than just a hook up and so does he. If a guy just wants to hook up and you want something more, tell him no, you're entitled to have someone who treats you with respect. Don't ever sell yourself short of anything.

xoxo KKSM

She's with him?! But she was just with HIM!

Boyfriend Hopping: The act of someone getting together with one guy for a short period of time, and then breaking up with him and moving on to the next. This person is never alone for more than two weeks.

Synonyms: Low Self Esteem

I don't know if many people have ever named this "act", I like to call it boyfriend hopping. You'll hear some people say, "She always has a boyfriend!" This is what I consider 'bf hopping.' However, I believe sometimes the reason why some girls always have a boyfriend is linked to low self esteem. They need to feel like they've been completed by having anybody there telling them what they wish they could tell themselves.

I know this is high school and all, but I want to point this out because, a common action tends to become a habit. If you or a friend 'hops' now and you can't figure out why, it's probably a good time to start working on your self esteem now rather then when you are twenty and still cannot hold a solid relationship. No one wants to constantly bring someones' self esteem up, not only is it tiring on that person, but get some confidence for crying out loud!

Before you even start to think you can be in a relationship, you need to think about yourself. If you don't have self confidence or self esteem, how could you carry out a successful relationship, if you can't even carry a successful relationship with yourself. It's definitely hard to gain self confidence, especially in high school. I have a hard time relating to some of my friends who have low self esteem, but it's something you gain through life in its self. Be happy and proud of who you are, stop letting other people affect you because their life is bad. It's definitely hard, but once you figure yourself out, you'll see a tremendous change in everything. It's as if you see yourself through a new light.

Now back to the "hopping." First off if you have a tendency to fall out a relationship and into the next, you could very well be a hopper. Boyfriend hopping is never good for either side of the relationship. It could ruin someone else's self esteem and you could lose someone that would have been there for you. Secondly, you may start to believe these are the only types of relationships, it could form some demented view of relationships in your mind. Thirdly, if you can't stay in a stable relationship, you're going to freak out when you actually do like someone and they want a committed relationship. Lastly, it's just not healthy, you don't feel good about yourself, and you won't until you realize what the problem is. You need to be able to stand alone, before you can have someone standing next to you.

If you or a friend is constantly in short lasting relationships, remember this also: you don't have to be official with everyone you like. One word, DATING. As long as you're a teen why not date? You get to know the person before actually committing to a relationship. After reading this, don't automatically think you're a 'hopper,' teens especially, have a tendency to forget the dating stage of a relationship.

If you take something away from this post, take away the fact that if you don't love yourself, in a non-arrogant kind of a way, why would you expect someone to love you back? Stop thinking so negatively about yourself, and start loving yourself. As cheesy as that sounds. Stop thinking about what other people think of you, and care about what you think of yourself. I really like this one quote, "It's none of your business what someone thinks of you." I feel like its very true, stop caring what other people think of you, and always do what's best for you.

xoxo KKSM

Can we still be friends?

Many breakups can go either A) well alright we're friends, B) We're not friends but we don't hate each other, or C) You can't stand to even LOOK at that person!

It all usually depends on the break up. If you have a messy break up then the chances are you're not going to be talking as much. If your break up is more of a mutual thing, or a mutual understandment you're most likely going to end up like A or B.

Is it okay to be friends with an ex?

Of course it is! There is nothing wrong with being friends with an ex, I personally am friends with most of my ex's. It sometimes depends on the persons personalty. For an example, if your a person who can't really "get over things", "get let go of a grudge" or even if you think you're really stubborn (and there is NOTHING wrong if you fall under any of those category's) it's more likely that you might not be as close of friends as you used to. But if your personalty ranks around more of a "go with the flow" kind of person, or someone who "can't hold a grudge" then most likely you'll be pretty decent with an ex. It also depends on the situation, the person could have really hurt you and just being around that kind of environment could just make you an unhappy person, so I suggest just let that go.

How can we be friends again?
If this person still really means a lot to you, and don't want them to disappear from your life completely it's possible to keep in touch. First you would want to start off just giving each other some space and some time for things to cool down, I mean you guys broke up for a reason right? Stuff like that doesn't just change over night. After a week or so later, just maybe give them a text, or if you see them in the halls of school ask them how things are going for them to let them know that you do still care about him/her and just checking in. BUT, don't bug the crap out of them all the time, the point of a break up is because you need space from that specific person. It pretty much clicks from there, just remember don't talk to them everyday time heals a lot of things, and everyone needs some space.

Should we be friends again?

Like it was mentioned up there, it's completely up to you and that other person. Just "go with the flow" and see how things are looking like in a few weeks from then. I wouldn't want to rush into things so, you and your ex can both have some time the think and cool off about the whole break up. Just take some time for yourself relax and focus on yourself for awhile, thats what you need the most.

What about friends with benefits?
If your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you, but still wants to have a sexual relationship is probably NOT the best idea. You need time away from each other, and the thing that's wrong with friends with benefits is that it does lead to someone in that matter with feelings for that other person and just really messes with your emotions. It would just all around be a bad situation to be in. So, look out for yourself and do what you feel comfortable with.

Teen Love Triangle Crisis

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20015585-504083.html

This CBS News story was shocking. It's about two close friends who both dated the same guy, and eventually they both got so caught up in the love triangle that murder was used to try and resolve the issue. Yep, that's right. One girl killed the other....over a GUY! Is it really worth it? If you were in a love triangle, what would you do to get out of it or resolve the issue? Comment and let me know what you think of the story!

xoxo KKSM

It's Facebook Officially OVER

The worst part of the relationship is the end, usually in that particular moment it is anyway. However, usually you pick yourself up in the end and you move on. Break-ups are never easy, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, it's difficult. Sometimes girls have a tendency to blame themselves for why the relationship didn't work out, however most of the time it was him not you. Stop blaming yourself for why the relationship didn't work out and focus on moving on.

Yet, sometimes the dumpee is oblivious to why they have been dumped. In some cases, there was no reason besides the fact, the guy you chose to go out with, he wasn't who you thought he was. In other cases, it was you. This may be hard to hear, but no one's perfect, if you can't admit to that, at least, then the break up was definitely because of you. Guys are usually laid back, they don't want to have a clingy girlfriend, they don't want to have to tell you why they're with you 24/7, of course if there's no 'compassion', you need someone better. What I'm saying though is that most guys want a confident, independent girl who knows what she wants.

"Closure." I'm sorry, but I believe this whole "closure" business is ridiculous in most cases. Usually you're not going to sit down with your ex and decide why he has decided to break up with you or vice versa. Honestly, the best "closure" you can get is moving on. Think about it in the most positive way you can, it's not the end of the world and you'll survive.

I think it's definitely okay to have time to sulk, be pissed off, or hurt, in some cases all three. There comes a time though that you need to move on. 1) Hang out with your friends. 2) Meet new people and socialize. 3) Do something that you weren't "allowed" to do in the relationship---FLIRT.

DO NOT:1) look for a rebound. First off it makes you look desperate: Second someone usually always gets hurt: Third you usually don't feel any better about yourself and: Fourth with girls especially you can get a bad reputation.

2) Incessantly talk about the person, there comes to a point where the "sulking" period is over. I'd give it at most 2 weeks, but thinking that the relationship was amazing the entire time is irrational. If it was so "perfect", the relationship wouldn't have ended. I understand it's hard moving on from a long term relationship, especially when it hits years, but the worst thing you can do is harp on why it didn't workout.

What do you do after the "sulking" period?

MOVE ON. It's the only thing you can do, sure it's going to be tough. And yeah, it's going to really stink for a while, it's going to stink when he gets a new girlfriend, but you need to move on. Occupy yourself with something, call a friend to distract you. Eventually, he becomes part of your past, and you learn something from each relationship.

What if he wants to get back together?

I think that once something is over, it should stay over. There's a reason why it didn't work out the first time. Though, some believe in second chances, this very well may be true, but I say after the second chance, there should be no more chances allowed.

Can we still be friends?

I think so, but to an extent. When one of my really good guy friends and I broke up, we stayed friends, because we were before hand definitely contributed to that. However, there's a line, you can't treat each other like bf/gf, you're strictly FRIENDS now. Don't do anything you wouldn't do in front of your other guy friends.

Break ups stink, but it's part of growing up. As long as you take something away from the break up you're not really losing anything. There are millions and millions of people, don't think you'll never find anyone. High school isn't the only place where you'll find someone, who knows where you'll meet someone, but you need to move on from each relationship and don't hang in the past.

xoxo KKSM

BESTFRIEND VS. BOYFRIEND

It’s Friday night. It's girl's night with your best friend, and it’s date night with your guy. Where do you go?

Unfortunately, girls are faced with problems like this one all the time. Having to choose between your best friend and your boyfriend can be a real tough decision to make. Sometimes it’s doable, but sometimes, not so much. So what do you do? It’s YOUR choice.

When stuck in a situation like this one, it’s best to try to see it from both sides.

She’s been your best friend since 3^rd grade, and has always had your back.

You’ve been dating him for 6 months, and you really like him.

So what do you do? A girl’s night wouldn’t be the same with your boyfriend there, and date night wouldn’t be so special with your best friend with you. Sometimes it’s workable. When the stars align and the universe is in order, something works out and allows you to do both, and make both people happy. But sometimes, that’s just not the way things work.

What’s my advice? TELL THEM! Be honest. Honesty is the most important thing in any sort of relationship, whether it’s a friendship or something more. If she’s really your best friend, she’ll understand, and if he really likes you, so will he. There’s no need to be pressured into making any sort of decision, it’s you who has to live with your choice after all.

Try moving dinner up and go to your friend's house a little late. Whatever makes everyone happy. But remember, it’s your life, and your decision.

Any comments/suggestions? Comment below and tell me! Thanks for reading! :)

"Mommy is that YOU?"

Sexting: sending provocative pictures via text message.

Did you know this is considered distribution of child pornography, and if you're in possession of nude pictures, you're in possession of child pornography. Either way you are considered a sex offender in the eyes of the public.

Why would anyone sext? Personally, I have very strong feelings on the topic, if you'd beg to differ comment please, I'd like to hear another point of view. Think about it, once you sext, those pictures are ever present, and if you're names attached to them anyone can see it. Think of your grandparents, your parents, and twenty or so years down the road, your kids could see those pictures online. Do you want that? Do you honestly want to be remembered as the girl with no self esteem that had to send pictures to feel better about herself. It's a total double standard I get it, boys are usually receiving while girls are the ones sending. It stinks, but it's the way it is. If you really want to change the 'standard' be one of the girls who doesn't send pictures. Especially for girls, your reputation could be tarnished forever. Recently in the Tri-State area there's a girl who had her pictures sent around her entire school, she's in the 8th grade, 14 years old.

Younger and younger generations are being exposed to technology, but rarely consider the consequences. "With great power, comes great responsibility." This quote really does apply to technology, a cell phone can demolish some one's reputation for life. In some cases it has indirectly ended some, sexting has led to suicide in some cases. Think about being so embarrassed to the point where you are willing to take your own life.

Not to be old fashioned, but what ever happened to "leaving more to the imagination"? Why are some so quick to send a picture, what do you think you're going to hear back from the guy. He obviously will be happy to receive anything, so why are girls so willing to show everything?

Personally, I don't get it, I think as a responsible young adult, you should take some pride in your body. Respect your body, and remember you're in control of who sees it.

Every February, every year...2/14

Valentines Day: The day we get to show our loved ones how we feel, or is it just stress we don't need? Some people take valentines day very seriously, they believe it's their one chance to show someone just how much they care. Others simply make due with roses or a box of chocolates. Is valentines day really a day of love, or has just become an over idolized American holiday?

Some people really take the time to plan an amazing valentines day. However, when is enough, enough? How much do you give your boyfriend/girlfriend? How much money should you spend?

I believe some people get a little crazy thinking about V-Day. Myself, I think it's the thought that counts. I'd rather have a heart felt card then jewelry or roses. However, some people think quite the opposite, not to say their superficial, but valentines day tends to be materialistic. What do you guys think? How much is enough? What do you expect from your 'significant other'? Does a piece of jewelry say 'I love you' or do roses and chocolates say it too?

For all the single people: What do you think about valentines day? Some of my friends dread V-Day, and see it as someone pointing their finger at them and laughing. I don't think it has to be all about couples, it could be also be directed towards your family. However, I want to hear from what our viewers think. Is V-Day really all that special? xoxo KKSM

The Bestfriend Vs. The Boyfriend

You'll encounter it someday if you have not already, the epic battle between best friend and boyfriend/girlfriend. Unfortunately, sometimes your best friend and boyfriend do not get along, however, how do you balance both relationships and keep everyone happy? It's difficult, and usually ends up tarnishing one of the relationships.

So how do you try to balance the relationships? It's not going to be easy. Some one's not going to be happy, best friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, one will feel left out. This is a difficult topic because many want to please both, there's nothing worse than having your best friend dislike your boyfriend or girlfriend.

So, what to do? 1) Think about what you value the most, friendships or a relationship which the odds are, you'll end up breaking up. 2) What does your best friend dislike about your boyfriend/girlfriend? Is there something you seem to be missing? Put yourlsef in their shoes. The best friend may also only want to see the bad, in that case, you need a new best friend. 3) You can tell both to suck it up and deal with one another. You don't want to hear about how they dislike the other, you just want them to be civil when in the same room.

It's going to be difficult, but honestly, if they both love you, neither will make you choose one relationship over the other. If one does try to make you choose, try to put yourslef in their shoes. Most girls realize when their best friend vents to the other, they vent all the bad stuff that happens, not the good. So they should take it that into account.

What if they still don't get along? When it comes down to it, you may just have to choose. Remember who will be there in the long run for you, and what reltionship you value more. These situations do stink, but it happens, and you always learn from experience. Need advice? Go to the advice page and comment! xoxo KKSM

Abuse

First off, a healthy relationship involve respect and trust. Unfortunately relationships take a bad turn and end up in a situation that you do not want to be in and don't know how to get out of. Abuse doesn't always mean physical violence. Actually, abuse is easily mistaken for jealousy that is over the top, and controlling behavior. Relationships are mainly about love, and respecting someone that you care for. It needs trust, not constant worrying and feeling insecure, and nervous all the time. Its very important to talk things over with your boyfriend/girlfriend, communication is the key! You don't want to always assume the worst it can cause so much anxiety which leads to over thinking situations that doesn't turn out best for the both of you.

What is abuse?

Abuse is not just physical, in fact abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual, or verbal.

so let's cover each.

PHYSICAL: Physical abuse can be, pulling hair, hitting, pinching, slapping, kicking etc. Pretty much if they touch you and it hurts and makes you very uncomfortable it can be considered abuse.

EMOTIONAL: Emotional abuse consists of things like teasing, bullying, humiliating, threats, put downs, betrayal , intimidation, anything really along those lines. It's not a visible abuse but it is qualified as abuse. It can cause a long term effect too, such as self esteem damage and self confidence damage.

SEXUAL: Sexual abuse can be very dangerous too at times. It's pretty much that if someone touches and or harms your body with making you feel uncomfortable and awkward is abuse. This can happen to guy or girl.

VERBAL: Verbal abuse is pretty much self explanatory. Just basically when friend OR boyfriend/girlfriend says something to you that's teasing, bullying, humiliating, threats, put downs intimidating, etc. (Leads to emotional abuse).

How do I get out of an abusive relationship?

First thing you need to detect is that you're in an abusive relationship and what kind. Then my best offer is to talk to someone about it, can be a relative, close friend, teacher, consular, therapist etc. If you can not get yourself to talk to someone about it then you can look things up online if it gets too serious, but if you're in danger then you need to get OUT of that relationship. It's clearly not a healthy relationship to be in what so ever. You can try to talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend and see that person needs anger management help or they're just not right for you. No relationship is "worth it" for abuse.

Break Ups: Life After Love


It happens in every relationship. It signifies the end of the relationship, and causes you to sign on Fcebook and change your status to "single." If you've ever heard your boyfriend/girlfriend say, "I think we need to talk..." or "I just dont know if I feel the same about you as I did....", or "I think we need to see other people..." or the most common, "I think we need to break up...", you know whats coming. For us girls, being "dumped" means grabbing a gallon of Chocolate Cookie Dough ice cream, climbing into bed wearing his sweatshirt and watching cheesy love stories all day, mascara running down our cheeks. Or maybe for some girls, they take break ups differently and are fine and move on easily after their boyrfriend is gone. Every girl is different.
 What do you think? Does the boy or girl handle the break up better?

For boys, if they were in the relationship and they simply got sick of being with the same girl, or maybe just didnt feel the same about her as they did in the beginning, they might take the break up as a sign of relief. Sometimes, the boy may take it harder if he was the one being dumped, but that makes sense right? If your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you, of course it would be harder for you right? Well in my opinion, it can be equal. Of course if you really cared about the person you were with, its not going to be easy to tell them that you dont want to be with them anymore and finding the words to tell them how you feel could be tough. But on the other end, hearing your boyfriend/girlfriend say they no longer want you is not what you probably ever want to hear.
Teen relationships can last from 6 months to 2 years, and the longevity of the relationship plays a key role in how both members of the relationship take the break up. Sooner or later, we all will have to hear those words or say them ourselves.
So now that you've gotten past the breaking up part....how do you pick up the pieces and move on? If you were really heart broken after a break up, it could take weeks or even months to forget everything you knew about being with that person. It is definetly an extremely hard process for alot of guys and girls. Moving on is in my opinion the most crucial step in getting over someone. If you were to reflect on the relationship and you realized that it wasnt best for you to be with that person, then maybe moving on and finding something better is the best remedy.
Of course, how you choose to move on and get over someone is important. Forexample, hooking up with another person the day after your break up to get revenge probably isnt the best thing to do. This is where re-bounds and jealousy come into play. So moving on in a positive way definetly effects how your life will be after the relationship.
On the positive side, remember that you are not alone and your friends willbe there to support you when this happens. Relationships and break ups are perfectly normal and we all need to experience them in our life to figure out what kind of relationship is best for each and every one of us. Our experiences now will make the future so much better.

What's wrong with PDA?

"Get a room" "Break it up" "Get to class"

these are phrases are often heard throughout the hallways when there are high school couples. everyday i witness monitors trying to usher along students trying to say goodbye tot heir boyfriend/girlfriend. why is a quick peck goodbye/hello a big deal to school policy?

some say it "distracts you from your studies," well so do sports, extracurricular activities, friends, family problems etc.. What do we do about all of those factors? Are we supposed to drop everything and solely focus on our studies?

Yet again, there's this one couple everyday before my fourth period class, that insist on standing right in front of the door and make out for a few good minutes. While I try and maneuver around these two, I can understand why monitors are so quick to break couples up. It's distracting to everyone, no one wants to see you and your bf/gf have a full on session right there in the hallway.(If you do that's just weird.) Spare us, please. Though, to me a quick peck is fine.

one of my friends told me recently that him and his girlfriend were next to his locker saying goodbye, and a monitor told them to 'just get to class.' I would think no one minds the couples who hold hands, hug, have quick kisses etc.., but no one wants to see a couple go at it in the hallway.

Why id it that school looks down on PDA? if you were int he mall or at their house, no one would stop or say anything. However, just because we are in school are we supposed to displace our personal relationships? Look at the counter argument though, it's not like you're saying goodbye for the day, it's just 40 minutes, can you last without making out? With this topic I can definitely see both sides, what about you?

Comment!

xoxo KKSM :*

Cheating

Cheating is unfortunately common in some relationships. You can still do absolutely nothing wrong, yet get your little heart broken into tiny millions of pieces. Being cheated on, and or cheating on someone whether or not you're "getting back at someone because they did it" or "you're bored" is not an excuse for anyone. We suggest that you communicate with your boyfriend/girlfriend in order to maintain a healthy stable relationship. Communication is very important! If you don't talk to one another on what's bothering you or if you're annoyed with them talking to someone else it's better to talk to them and clear things up instead of assuming or things getting too late which always leads to fighting and we do not want that either. If you think your partner is cheating ask yourself some questions before jumping to conclusions. Such as, are you carrying around guilt that your boyfriend/girlfriend is lying to you or cheating on you (you know, like that "gut" feeling some people can get)? Are they overly protected and or sensitive with their phone, or the computer of their privacy? Are they finding it hard to easily explain them selfs and make up excuses for everything? If you said YES to most of these questions then we suggest that you most definitely talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend about what's going on. But remember don't jump to conclusions or automatically accuse them because that can cause all sorts of different problems. So good luck to teens out there and don't worry, you're not alone, there are many of people that have been in your shoes before!

And p.s if you have been cheated on before and it's completely ruined your self esteem and don't know how to get back to your "normal" self we will have another topic on that coming some time next week. Thank you!