Boyfriend Hopping: The act of someone getting together with one guy for a short period of time, and then breaking up with him and moving on to the next. This person is never alone for more than two weeks.
Synonyms: Low Self Esteem
I don't know if many people have ever named this "act", I like to call it boyfriend hopping. You'll hear some people say, "She always has a boyfriend!" This is what I consider 'bf hopping.' However, I believe sometimes the reason why some girls always have a boyfriend is linked to low self esteem. They need to feel like they've been completed by having anybody there telling them what they wish they could tell themselves.
I know this is high school and all, but I want to point this out because, a common action tends to become a habit. If you or a friend 'hops' now and you can't figure out why, it's probably a good time to start working on your self esteem now rather then when you are twenty and still cannot hold a solid relationship. No one wants to constantly bring someones' self esteem up, not only is it tiring on that person, but get some confidence for crying out loud!
Before you even start to think you can be in a relationship, you need to think about yourself. If you don't have self confidence or self esteem, how could you carry out a successful relationship, if you can't even carry a successful relationship with yourself. It's definitely hard to gain self confidence, especially in high school. I have a hard time relating to some of my friends who have low self esteem, but it's something you gain through life in its self. Be happy and proud of who you are, stop letting other people affect you because their life is bad. It's definitely hard, but once you figure yourself out, you'll see a tremendous change in everything. It's as if you see yourself through a new light.
Now back to the "hopping." First off if you have a tendency to fall out a relationship and into the next, you could very well be a hopper. Boyfriend hopping is never good for either side of the relationship. It could ruin someone else's self esteem and you could lose someone that would have been there for you. Secondly, you may start to believe these are the only types of relationships, it could form some demented view of relationships in your mind. Thirdly, if you can't stay in a stable relationship, you're going to freak out when you actually do like someone and they want a committed relationship. Lastly, it's just not healthy, you don't feel good about yourself, and you won't until you realize what the problem is. You need to be able to stand alone, before you can have someone standing next to you.
If you or a friend is constantly in short lasting relationships, remember this also: you don't have to be official with everyone you like. One word, DATING. As long as you're a teen why not date? You get to know the person before actually committing to a relationship. After reading this, don't automatically think you're a 'hopper,' teens especially, have a tendency to forget the dating stage of a relationship.
If you take something away from this post, take away the fact that if you don't love yourself, in a non-arrogant kind of a way, why would you expect someone to love you back? Stop thinking so negatively about yourself, and start loving yourself. As cheesy as that sounds. Stop thinking about what other people think of you, and care about what you think of yourself. I really like this one quote, "It's none of your business what someone thinks of you." I feel like its very true, stop caring what other people think of you, and always do what's best for you.
xoxo KKSM
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